My time as a Doula

In one week in September 2007, my life changed dramatically. My only son started school; I went back to work for the first time in 4 years and I started training to be a Volunteer Doula. Having been unsuccessful in getting a place at University to study midwifery earlier in the year I was thinking that this would be a perfect way to gain brownie points for my next application and also have a great experience along the way. I thought I knew everything about childbirth from my own experience and also speaking to others but really I was a little arrogant and completely wrong! The training was amazing, I met other likeminded people who had a passion for childbirth and pregnancy and helping women. During the training I dealt with some of my issues surrounding my own birth and that of my son. Neither had been fantastic experiences for me or my Mum and I hadn’t realised how negative I was about it! 

I also realised that this was so much more than a way to get into university. Shortly after I completed my training, I got to experience my first birth. I was a backup for another, more experienced doula. She was away for the weekend and lucky for me, the lady she was supporting went into labour. I was totally ready for a few hours of massage, aromatherapy and relaxation techniques. What I actually experienced was 20+ hours of sitting, waiting, puzzle books, arguments, vomit and tears. However, after what seemed like an endless night, I got to see a new human being enter the world and my eyes were wide open. I went home on a complete high, despite not having any sleep or proper nourishment for over 24 hours. 

In quick succession, I was managed to attend another birth as a backup. This time, I had more confidence in what I was actually there for and even though it was another marathon 20+ hours of labour, it was an amazing experience, watching this tiny baby enter the world, completely brand new. It was after this birth experience that I realised I wanted to be a midwife, more than anything else. The next lady I supported was as the main doula and by the time she actually gave birth, I had a lovely relationship with her. This time, her husband couldn’t attend so it was just me, her and the interpreter as well as the midwives in the hospital. She had a water birth, watching the new baby float to the surface was nothing short of miraculous and something I shall certainly never forget.

At about this time I was reapplying for University and starting to feel confident that I would be successful this time. I had more experience and knowledge of birth and pregnancy now, having supported 3 women successfully so far. I had my interview and I felt that I had done well. On the same day as my interview, I found out that I had been chosen at random to go to London with Heather to accept an award on behalf of the Doula project from an All Party Parliamentary Group. It was a fantastic opportunity to meet some key figures in the maternity world and also take tea with Alan Johnson at the Houses of Parliament and my confidence was at an all time high. The following day, I found out that I hadn’t got a place at University and I felt totally rejected and very low. I was angry at myself and angry at others who had got a place. I decided I would go into nurse training instead and tried to gain some control over my future. 

However, a few months later, after supporting some lovely women and starting a new part time job, I had decided to try for midwifery again and not give up on the dream I had been chasing for such a long time. I attended all the doula training that was available, got onto the steering group and devoted myself to being the best doula I could. I had my third interview with the University and prepared as if it was my first one. In July 2009, after having supported 9 people through birth I finally got the news I had been waiting for: A place at Hull University to study midwifery – for September 2009! I was over the moon. 

Since receiving the news and also being present for the 10^th birth as a Volunteer Doula I feel so privileged and lucky to be where I am today. The project has helped me learn so much and also given me a chance to support women and their families who really benefitted from a little extra help. I have also met some amazing women and made great friends. I will certainly never forget my experience as a Volunteer Doula and hope to be involved with the project in one way or another for a long time to come.

Zoe Ashton-Worsnop

Volunteer Doula 2007 - 2009