When I fell pregnant my one thought was how much I needed my mum. She died from cancer years ago but I couldn't help remembering her promise that she would be there for me when I gave birth. Things hadn't worked out as planned and I would only have my husband to support me. Tim is a great guy but I felt I really needed a woman to be with me. I didn't have anyone I could ask.
I had read about American doula's in a magazine and thought how great it would be if I could afford a British doula. Not living in London, the chance of finding a doula was next to nothing. It was a pleasant surprise when I went to my first appointment with my consultant and saw a sign on the notice board advertising the Sure Start Volunteer Doula service.
I live in Hessle and that was slightly outside the area, but still the service decided I would benefit from a doula. I had an introductory meeting and Heather went away to match me up.
I have a hard time trusting people. I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and am a part time wheelchair user so I also needed someone who would at least try to understand my illness. Tracey is one of the kindest people I know. From the very begining we got on well and I found I could open up to her with all my worries. She was on the other end of the phone whenever I needed her.
A Sure Start doula can help with all kinds of things. I didn't need help understanding benefits or getting the things I would need for the baby's arrival. However I was going to have to go alone to apointments with the
midwives and at the hospital when my husband was at work. I wasn't looking forward to that at all. Tracey said she would come with me which was fantastic. I wasn't confident about making my needs understood to the health professionals but with Tracey beside me, I knew I was being listened to.
My labour was far from ideal. I had SPD which put me in bed a month before I was due and prevented me from going to 'parenting classes'. Tracey told me everything she could think of that might have been in the classes. I went into 'false labour' and Tracey stayed with me all that day. Tim says he wouldn't have coped at all well without Tracey being there with us.
Then one night I heard my waters break with a distinct 'pop' and woke my husband. We coped together, deciding to let Tracey sleep till morning. I gave her an early morning wake up call though and she met me at the hospital. After going backwards and forwards to the hospital a couple of times I finally went into strong contractions and REALLY needed Tracey. She knew where to put her hands to stop the pain as my daughter was laying 'back to back'. She knew what to say to keep both myself and my husband happy and calm. She also explained things as they were going along, suggesting ways to help me deal with the pain.
Ok so things went wrong and after more than 20 hours of labour I had an emergancy c-section. Tracey was there for me after the op though and told me I'd done well and would be ok. She looked shattered when she finally said she was going home. How long she'd been with me I don't know. She seemed to forget her own family and concentrated on helping me create my own.
After the birth Tracey helped me cope with the baby blues, breastfeeding and coping in general. I didn't believe her when she said that I was having baby blues. I was sure it was something much more serious. I felt as though I was falling apart and wanted someone to take me away from it all.
To put it simply I really don't know how I would have got through the last trimester of pregnancy, the birth and first few weeks of my daughter's life with out the help of 'Doula Tracey'. She means everything to me. The fact
that she gives up her time voluntarily to help someone like me makes her a very special person in my mind. Tracey helped my husband and myself to cope with everything that was thrown at us. My experience certainly wasn't an easy one but Tracey coped with it as though she did that sort of thing every day of her life. You wouldn't have known I was her first 'doula' client.
I don't think there could be a medal or award which could express how fantastic Tracey is. I hope the sure start doulas carry on working for years to come. (And can I book Tracey for sometime in 2008 please?)
Chantelle
